I'm not sure how we are doing this page yet, the goal was originally
to share more of the story with you and now it's turned out that it's really
about parting with that story. Finding the Peace within it and moving
on. There is the theme of my life. Seems we did the last major
review as many of you know when we started this part of the journey ten
years ago. So the life review which we have
been working with for months has begun. We begin the Life Review as a
way to heal and move forward.
First three thoughts for this day 3/5/2011 just to keep me accountable here...lol...is
one of the new quick sayings to put things into perspective for my life.
1: Tired of dusting...Get rid of things that need dusting
2: Want to tell the world something...start talking
3: Hate your clothes...give them away
this is the short video of the little bit of things that I have left on
those nic/nacs of life we collect. Just little things with stories.
( even many of these objects were parted with )Part of
the life review that has happened this week was shredding papers, letters,
notes from the last ten years. Not realizing how much stuff we carry with
us for unknown reasons. Saving the last little pieces of happiness from
those relationships that need to be set free. YES, letting go of the
happiness in relationships that keep us from truly letting it go. AND as
always on this journey finding the way to really forgive yourself and others
for choices made. We all know that's the tough one to move past.
It is about forgiveness. Forgiving doesn't mean negating any feelings
you still have. Whether you believe that our most loved on the other
side have come into this life with us to teach us the harshest lessons or
not, it still hurts. So allow yourself to feel that hurt.
I've long given up on the meanings of it all. I've long said that
trusting in myself was the key to living. When that trust is shaken
the whole world takes on new meaning. This is why the life review at
this time is so powerful, both good and sad, at the same time.
My life is down to three boxes. Not that they are must have things,
they are the small parts I want right now. It's only a small portion
of what there was. The shredding of papers, life stories, journals has
been a wonderful experience. Finding a way into my soul to that place
of acceptance is a little harder.
Many I know could not fathom every having to give up everything they own.
Look around you now and wonder what it would be like if you had to give this
all away. It would have been easier for someone to come in and steal
it during the night.
I've learned to understand terms such as Phantom Death and the Dark Night of
the Soul in loving ways after getting to know so many others who have been
going through this same process. Again sanity saved by an online
community of people I surely would never meet in this narrow community I
live physically within.
I'm reminded often to "Be as patient, kind and compassionate with myself as
I have been for those who have come to me".
Will add more as we can with everyone. Yet understanding that part of
keeping the story online as we have for so many years to share with others,
has also been part of that holding on process to the past. Letting go
has to be complete. I will save a page for your comments and questions
along the way.
another great video that brings meaning. Seeing the big picture while
you are within the picture.
5/1/2011 am out of my apartment and on hold till I fly out of
Texas on the 20th. Not with out drama am I going to leave this state
for sure. Emotions are running high.
5/2/2011 had to make an emergency exit and spent every bit of
money I had to leave Texas early. Got to Myrtle Beach to my daughters.
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